I Am The Survivors' Song
I was just a little girl with big green eyes
Awaiting life for my next surprise
When he walked through my door
Little did I know what he had in store

For year after year
I cried a silent tear
As he treated me like a child wife
Each rape cutting me like a knife


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows
I was told not to cry
I was told I must lie
So this monster may have control
Oh, how he snatched my soul


You see this man was my Dad
He made me feel so bad
When he treated me the way he did
I was only a helpless. little kid


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows

Mom was terribly weak
She chose to turn her cheak
As daddy would do me wrong
The man was big, and awfully strong.


Mom could not stand the pain
Eventually, it drove mom insane
She couldn't cope and gave me away
She knew of the games daddy would play.


This is how the story goes
This is how a survivor grows

Years would pass as this went on
Through time, my sense of self was gone
For I realized I was just a toy
Simply placed here for daddy's joy


Momma diverted to booze and pills
While daddy was getting his frills
Mom started to blame me
She called me daddy's floozie


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows

One day I awoke
And my child self spoke
She said there will be no more!
As she went running out the door.


She ran so fast
Although it didn't last
For she was too small
Far too fragile to handle it all.


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows

The police stepped in
Surely justice would begin!!
For no one would leave me here
Of course the COURTS are sincere!


I soon learned I was amiss
For thinking they wouldn't leave me like this
For the courts don't believe children, you see.
There...wen't my chance to be set free.


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows
A teenage Mother, I became
To a Mother that was insane
While I tried to find a way
     -Just to survive
Time and time again I'd wonder
     -Why am I alive?


Many times throughout my teenage year
Men would see my vulnerable tears
Seeing weakness they'd attempt forcing there way
I was learning, too young, I had no safe place to
play.


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows

Years would pass and I was finally free
I spent so much time learning about me
A good marriage, work, kids, and friends
Then, suddenly, the nightmares began.


Haunting memories taunted my mind
From back in the days when no safety I'd find
Suddenly, it all surfaced--that fear.
Again, I shed that silent tear.


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows

When out of the dark, a friend did appear
Somewhow he heard that silent tear
Knowing the pain deep inside
He said you no longer have to hide


For in you there is a great deal of pain
Your life went on, but the trauma remained
It is finally okay to talk, my dear
It is okay to cry, to anger, to laugh, to fear.


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows

Here I am, still carrying on.
Meanwhile, dealing with all that is wrong
Learning new boundaries and ways to cope
Learning that, maybe, there is some hope.


Thirty years of my life have already passed
Somehow, through it all, I did last
And I am learning a whole new way to live
Someday, I may even choose to forgive.


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows

This story may sound rather silly to you.
You may think I am nothing special or new
That is where you are wrong.
For I Am the survivors song

have fought many wars before I could walk
And I've seen the devil's rage before I could
talk
I've walked miles where others would fall
This survivor has seen it all.




This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows

My entire youth I had to fight a war
I've never been allowed to be me before
Im not a toy, I am a person deserving respect
I'm breaking the chains of all the neglect


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows
A survivor, as I now call myself
Takes the time to learn of herself
Unplanting the seeds her toxic parents sow
"Righting the wrong" becomes her motto


Survivors are angels seeking the truth
Holding the srength that saved them in their
youth
Hang on my friend for the tears turn to gold
You'll find your serenity as you remove your
blindfold


This is how the story goes
This is how the survivor grows
Take your steps slowly as you undue the pain
I promise you your work is not all in  vain
As you seek the truth you will find
The truth was within you all the time.


Wash away thier lies with all your tears
Untwist the pain from all those years
In the end you will find your rainbow of light
I promise it was well worth the fight

Author Melanie Stineford
January 11, 2003
Copyrighted. All rights reserved. 

Website:
http://www.nikita_wiz.homestead.com/TheSurvivorsSong.html

Used with permission from Melanie Stineford


A Survivors Song
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